The Annual Holiday Scrooge Rant

It's once again time for the annual update of things that are making me a Scrooge and driving me crazy in health news, social media, and supplements. Please enjoy our rendition of The Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the first day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me, a push to further deregulate the industry. The big lobbying groups are working overtime to take advantage of the chaos at the FDA (I'm pretty sure the FDA is just three raccoons in a trench coat at this point) to get the few remaining regulations off the books, even though they're barely enforced as it is. Because whenever industries do whatever they want without anyone stopping them, it always goes well. It's not like there's already a huge problem with counterfeit, adulterated, and contaminated supplements or something.

On the second day of Christmas, social media gave to me a whole bunch of influencers telling people sunscreen is bad. If you don't like the ingredients in a particular sunscreen, just buy one without those. It's not rocket science. Here's one and here's another one with nice ingredients. If you refuse to wear sunscreen, at least get some sun-protective clothing and a hat. I was unaware we were all pro-melanoma now. It's ok and healthy to get a bit of sun without sunscreen, such as first thing in the morning or at sunset, but you should avoid burning at all costs. Bad sunburns dramatically increase your risk of skin cancer. Plus, if you keep getting these crazy tans, you are going to look like a raisin when you're older, and nobody really likes raisins. Also, if I ever think I'm getting chocolate chip cookies and they turn out to be oatmeal raisin, I will never forgive the person who gave them to me.

On the third day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me a bunch of new fake whole food supplements. Every year, more and more fake whole food supplements come out. A real whole food supplement does not have any synthetic or isolated vitamins and minerals included at any time during the process. Shout out to all the brands that don't give a crap about anything other than money. An even bigger shout-out to the health food stores, websites, and practitioners reselling them that pretend to care. If all of those places put their foot down and refused to sell them, it would be a massive step towards eliminating the problem.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me a bunch of adulterated beef organ supplements. As the popularity of these supplements has grown, we have discovered many new, creative ways companies adulterate them. I'm always impressed at how quickly new methods of adulteration come about. I just want to say I really love the fact that there is no penalty or bad karma these companies face for doing it. It really gets me in the holiday spirit.

On the fifth day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me a bunch of supplements with ingredients that don't exist, such as: Lactobacillus thermophilus (no such bacteria exist), B12 made from Saccharomyces cerevisiae (nutritional yeast does not naturally contain B12), and folic acid from lemons (folic acid is synthetic and does not occur in nature).

On the sixth day of Christmas, Trump gave to me massive amounts of tariffs and logistical problems that cost us thousands and thousands of dollars every month, and more paperwork than I ever thought possible. Foreign countries and companies do not pay the tariffs; businesses and people who import the products do. They are not making us rich; it's a regressive tax on Americans that disproportionally hurts the working class because businesses pass most of those increased costs onto consumers. In addition, tariffs are exacerbating the adulteration problem because companies are cutting costs to offset the tariffs. If you think tariffs are making us wealthy, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale. And before some genius sends us an email saying just buy American, nearly every supplement you buy is made with imported ingredients (or imported inputs to make the ingredients), whether it is bottled here or packaged overseas. Lots of things cannot be grown or produced here.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me more and more gummy supplements. Gummy supplements are an absolutely terrible way to deliver nutrients and compounds. They have so many stability and potency issues because of how they are made. Gummies are for candy and the devil's lettuce, not vitamins. STOP BUYING GUMMY SUPPLEMENTS!

On the eighth day of Christmas, misinformation and social media gave to me, measles outbreaks all over the United States. Screw it, let's bring back the plague and get it over with. We would have a bunch of people on social media telling us how beneficial the plague was for our immune systems, and taking their kids to plague parties. Also, and I hate myself for having to write this, DON'T TAKE YOUR KIDS TO A MEASLES PARTY! Measles is a serious illness that can cause lasting health problems and even death.

On the ninth day of Christmas, TikTok shop gave to me, twelve thousand ads for some of the worst supplements with the most insane, false health claims I have ever seen. It would be really nice if there were anyone left in the government enforcing the laws against this stuff. STOP BUYING SUPPLEMENTS FROM THE TIKITY TOK SHOPS! You might as well punch yourself in the face repeatedly; that's probably safer than most of those products.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the EPA gave to me, the approval of a new pesticide containing forever chemicals. I can feel it making America healthy again. Here me out, what if we didn't do this kind of crap anymore?

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the supplement industry gave to me an industry with no barrier to entry. Anyone can call up a sketchy contract manufacturer, get whatever scraps were swept up off the factory floor put into a bottle, slap a fancy label on it, spend a bajillion dollars on marketing, and make a fortune. No quality control or ethics need apply. It's the best, I love it. It definitely doesn't make me white with rage.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, ya'll gave to us an incredible amount of support this year, and it means the world to us. Thank you so much!

Hopefully, my crashing out gave you a laugh. From all of us at Rooted Nutrition, we wish you a very happy holiday season!

Meg Meg wants you all to know that it's ok to eat extra sweet treats over the holidays.